'resolutioners'

         I think, whether we're prone to writing down concrete resolutions or not, we are all apt to reflect on what we can change in our lives when a new year rings in. I am no exception and while I don't set much store in a full life turn-around occurring with an arbitrary date, I see no harm in using it as a time for a fresh start. With my finals schedule ending blessedly early, I've actually had quite a long holiday break and as it comes to a close it finds me fairly restless. Tomorrow my long lazy days come to an end when my father drives back to my city to cart me around to grab groceries to stock my cupboards and see me frenziedly clean my apartment. But I'm looking forward to it. Without the structure of work or school I end up left to my devices for too long and I get restless and idle. My muscles are stiff because my crazy prior semester saw me abandon my yoga and regular gym schedule. I'm a little more tired from heavy holiday foods and little to no coffee. So, naturally, finding myself a little shriveled and tired from too much free time I find myself planning on little things I plan on getting back to with my winter semester just around the corner. 

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          My physical health needs to take a priority again. Between not eating enough and finding time to get my heart pumping and muscles burning I lost a lot of muscle and flexibility and I definitely didn't sleep as well as I did in months prior. I miss my muscle-ly legs and ability to hoist myself into headstands. My skin has been suffering as well, drying out with another cold atlantic winter sweeping in. So I have planned for early rises to get in gym time with my jam-packed schedule. Food wise I want to cut back on processed food and and try eating close to plant-based and continue to keep caffeine to a minimum. Skin wise I'm going to revamp my whole routine and find a new evening ritual to get my skin back to glowing.

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          My mental health also deserves to be taken care of a little more in the new year. Just being a generally anxious person than most I need to absolutely make the time to cut off screen time in the evenings and have a restful night-time routine in place where I can light a candle, grab a cup of calming tea and write down my reflections of each day. Being naturally introverted means I am apt to bottle things up and carrying everything doesn't allow for mental clarity. I also pledge to myself that if it turns that I cannot seem to do my mental health justice on my own, I'll make the time to turn to a professional.
        Another mantra I plan to live with this year is the idea that while connecting with people is something I love doing, since I am pretty social, it doesn't mean that everyone deserves a seat at the table of my life. I tend to be very quick to invest emotional energy into other people rather than knowing the limits of my psyche and often expend too much into being a doormat to other people at the expense of my own worries. I often feel a lot of guilt there because I often feel obligated to put myself out there for other people in every possible way but I need a gentle reminder that saying 'no' when I need to and picking and choosing where I invest myself doesn't make me a bad person, just one with priorities. This year is about choosing the things that are best for me and bring my dreams forward, rather than being dishonest with myself and others. Doubting my gut and intuitions and my own abilities to achieve my dreams doesn't do anyone any favours, myself especially.

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             Lastly my financial standing is also going to become a priority. The plan is to pick up a part time job and be a 'real' adult and open a savings account. I do in fact have student loans but they only really cover the cost of living. I'm tired of having to overly plan ahead for social events or dating, or things like studying abroad taking an absolute back burner to my bills. It sounds like a simple goal but focusing more on becoming independent and finding new ways to take care of myself is something that is important to me. 

            So my goals are few but they entail a lot more smaller tasks and organizing than I wanted to lay out here. Something about writing it down always makes the possibility of success more real, somehow. I hope the new year finds you in good stead.

xx. r