on retaining that spark

A day to day issue of mine arises as I often (admittedly mindlessly) scroll through tumblr. Do I commit to keepin' up dat' on point aesthetic by solely reblogging art pieces and muffled photography, or can I succumb to being a fangirl and reblog Twin Peaks graphics and gut-busting vines?
This originates from a very specific space within me. I grew up being that kid immersed in books and subsequently their fantasy world. I went through a phase where I passionately believed dragons were real and searched for them in my wee sea side town. I think mostly that came from not fitting in at all and needing, as books are wont to provide, an escape.
But I won't lie, and more specifically don't want to lie a small part of me is still that little girl who saved up to buy a fur trimmed cape; I want dragons to be real. 
Part of me is still retaining that hope that one day I'm going to wake up to the news and there's going be some kick-ass discovery and it will blow me out of the water. I will be that fantasy-obsessed dork forever.

Reflecting again on my younger self, I was so passionately into anything and everything that really spoke to me. But I also recall teasing, some of it intended in a kind way but I still remember being embarrassed. I feel that now at 20 that a lot of my peers would rather give off this aloof, distanced self and I feel like we don't allow ourselves to be as enthusiastic about the things that spin our cogs like we did when we were children. And that we're restricted to things that are "cultured". This may be a one-sided observation on my part as I'll admit I haven't met the whole of my student body/peer group but I just general feel the divide myself. I guess that's what I mean by that 'spark'. There's this distinct pigeon-holing I feel, especially at university, that I can't both engage in something 'sophisticated' like feminist discourse and then go home and lose my shit over the new Hannibal teaser trailers or re-listen to Hilary Duff and unashamedly sing along to Come Clean because, hey, that was my mid-2000's anthem, dammit.  That I can't both cultivate my mind with more complex books and art, and become more socially aware but also watch dumb vines at 1:00 in the morning and cry laughing, heaving silently.  
I want to resist this because I feel it contributes to that type of person who will sneer at parties or in general conversation when you show a shade of zeal for things that aren't that trendy, young-adult shit. Oh gee, let me just rush to join that "I think I'm too good for pop culture" band wagon. I'm going to ride my cart down the grocery aisle when no one's looking. I'm also occasionally going to re-read the books that kept me going at 12 and relish in the characters and their ability to enter realms and fight beasties. I'll happily have the occasional one-person dance party to One Direction.

I don't want this to come across as self-congratulatory or even that I'm a ~special snowflake~ for observing this fact but I wanted to reflect on this aspect of myself since I'd never really archived these particular thoughts anywhere before.  My only hope is that I just want to make sure I never get to a point where I think that I'm too good for the things once inspired me or that I ever sneer or belittle the interests of others, so long as they're not problematic (bronies anyone?)

  xx.
r

Self Care & Why It Needs to be Prioritized

not mine; credit to whomever owns it

              I'm not sure where I first heard about the idea of self-care but the more I've delved into it and come understand what it means it surprises me that it's not a more popular concept.
Then again, perhaps it shouldn't; our society still has plenty of stigma around discussing a lot of aspects of mental health.

~

                I'm sure a lot of people in fact don't know what it is, and thankfully the internet provided a handy summation of it for me: "any intentional acts by an individual to take care of their physical, mental and emotional selves."
This obviously can mean different things for different people but as a student, in particular, the fact that more emphasis is not placed on discussing taking care of your mental self is disappointing.  It's a perfectly reasonable, or at least normalized,thing to hear about drinking enough water, getting enough sleep, making time for exercising and eating well but when it comes to doing the same for our emotional well being, it just isn't talked about on the broad scale it should be. I do realize that physicality is a part of self-care, I mentioned it earlier, however, that alone is does not embody self-care as a whole. Because I totally agree with that; I feel more centered mentally when I do stay hydrated and eat foods that nourish my body and soul (lean protein for dem' lifting gainz and pizza for my soul), and get adequate sleep. However, that's the easy bit. Or easier bit, I should say.

~

               A lot of people I know, myself included tend to not really analyze what it means to take the necessary steps for mental well being.  After taking some time to self-reflect and review some of the self-care notes I was given when I did my volunteer orientation (which is with a Women's Resource center) I think I've summarized the essentials fairly well in the following. These are just some general ideas for prioritizing self care in your life!




 Physical self care:

• Eat regularly! I know that with busy schedules (especially as a student) or when you're having a particularly off day it isn't appealing/easy but it's part of what your body needs to function. This also means try to eat things that are good for both your body and soul. Fruit and veg helps keep your body happy but pizza is good for the soul.
• Take care of whatever medical care/prescriptions you need on the regular. 
• Wear your favorite outfits that make you feel beautiful/empowered/happy.
• Take time when you need it - this means saying NO when you need to; don't feel you have to sacrifice time you need for you to appease other people.
• Get enough sleep; maybe think about creating a soothing evening routine to stick to each night to wind down.
• Stay hydrated! I recommend the Water Your Body app to help remind you; it keeps you more alert, prevents headaches, and is excellent for your skin.

Psychological/Emotional self care:

• Make time for self reflection! Maybe keep a private journal to release at the end of each day 
• Try to stay organized/ahead of your schedule - decreasing your overall stress takes a load of your mind and body. 
• Give yourself affirmations and praise yourself!
• Re-read/re-watch your favourite books or movies.
• On that note, figure out what activities in your life are comforting and seek them out!
• Allow yourself emotional release; this could mean crying when you need to or taking out some anger on a punching bag in the gym.
• Take steps to love and appreciate the body you have - it's a hard road but learning to love your vessel and be happy and comfortable in it does a lot for your mental health.
• Engage your intelligence by trying something new; maybe visit an art gallery or another exhibit of your interest, an up coming performance or concert! 
• Appreciate the non material aspects of your life.
• Accept that you don't have the answers to everything all the time; focus on your present self.
• Consider making time to meditate or pray as private time for peace and self-reflections and self-appreciation. 
• Contribute to causes you feel strongly about!

  

  not mine; credits to whomever 

Personal Recommendations:

• Grow something; I find keeping a few plants in my room to take care of soothing in some way - the greenery perhaps?
• Find some incense or candles that you adore; a nice smelling room does a lot to make your room/space feel like a welcoming, comfortable area for you.
• Keep a gratitude jar - at the end of each day I take a small piece of paper and write at least four things I was grateful for, found inspiring/beautiful/intriguing. 
• Treat yourself to little presents here and there when you can afford it; I find buying a new lotion or nail polish or book makes me feel special and like I'm dating myself!
• Track your finances; I find that staying on top of my finances and budgeting my life means I don't have to stress about spending in the future. 
• Yoga! I find my practice (when I'm not terrible at prioritizing it myself) really centers me and quiets my mind as well as gives me a new appreciation of what my body is capable of. (This goes for any physical action/exercise that makes you feel lovely)
• Focus on having good posture throughout the day.
• Take long evenings to pamper yourself. 
• Learn to cook; not only is the process of prepping a meal pretty tranquil, you get a yummy dish at the end of it to enjoy. 
• Moisturizeeeeeee; especially in the winter when your skin needs it. 

That's all for now! Hopefully this may have inspired you or given you new ideas to take care of your wonderful selves - have a wonderful day!

r.

Weekly Musings #5: Fresh Fallen Snow & Good Vibes edition

coffee date with J

Hallo meine leiben!
My first week back into the semester is almost at an end and I wanted to touch base since I've been at a pretty good place since I got back in town and back to classes. Just decompressing by writing this up before I hit the books to do some light work. Keeping ahead of my studies has been a resolution of mine but more on resolutions later.

No math classes: Yes, ladies and gents for the first time in my academic career thus far I am doing NO math related courses of any kind. This is a pretty huge deal for me since I've had to haul ass to do okay in math since I can ever remember. Not having to devote so much more time and energy to that subject area gives me so much relief and I'm feeling like I'm going to be focusing on my other courses so much better this term, because well, no anxiety from maths. (?!)

General feel good vibes for life: Not a big specific event or anything but despite a few setbacks mentally and feeling pretty damn homesick for time with my parents and cats I'm feeling pretty darn good overall. I've been prioritizing the things that keep me if not happy (because constant happiness isn't like a thing and it's not achievable or realistic anyways???) but very content. Re: keeping my room clean and lighting rad candles, keeping up with my bullet journal, making baby-steps in establishing healthy habits and prioritizing school work and me-time equally. I'm hoping I'm going to be good about keeping this up because I've been digging this mentality.

honorable mentions: ● walks with J under fluffy-falling snow ● having J back after the holiday spent apart ● white christmas lights to decorate my room with ● again, yes scented candles (so good) ● Mac Demarco; seriously, I'm just really digging his music and I haven't resonated with new music in a long time so this is loverly' feeling ● my Blundstones (doing a seperate review post of these because damn such a good investment ● vanilla bean lattes ● re-watching House M.D. ● feeling enthusiasm towards all my courses this term ● sleepovers and cuddles ● being better at staying hydrated ● bullet journal good-vibes ● getting back at the workout grind ● similarly, that sore muscle feeling ● nifty new practical bags and totes ● my general sense of gratefulness ● plans for drinks with rad people this weekend ● new calendars ● crosswords on the bus home ● my supportive amazing parents ● oversized knit infinity scarves ● feeling inspired writing-wise ● new workout kicks ● blue sharpie pens

link love: 

campus in the snow

● I wasn't kidding about Mac Demarco; this song is currently on repeat as is Blue Boy! 
● New hair goals! 
● This lovely website, run by the darling Kat; such an amazing, motivational and useful resource for all students - hello tried and true study tips!
● Linking you this tag on my tumblr for movie master-posts because what's better than curling up with tea or coffee, snacks and kick-ass movies?

That's all for now folks; what have been the highlights of your week been?                               r.

Bullet Journal: Organization for 2015

my key of shorthand symbols

I want to preface this by saying I hate making titles for posts. I'm not a particularly pithy person, hence why all my posts are very matter of fact and decidedly not catchy. Find me a concise and fetching way to title a post on journaling and, and.. I don't know you can come blog with me I guess?

Anyways, in what is my decided addiction to tumblr I run a side blog which catalogs and archives all matter of material related to studying and being an academic. Study and organization tips, advice on test prep, and generally inspiring and motivational images for kicking your ass into gear for revising.
(Studyblr, is the term for that kind of blog, if you were interested)
And as a lot of people are on break, there's a lot of prep on the go for how to hit the pavement running in the new year, which of course, has incited the purchase of a number of daily planners.
But I was more interested in the methodology of staying organized. I have a filofax, which is now lying unused and though I loved the quality of it the one thing I hated was having to buy refills of particular pages if I wanted to continue with it. Enter bullet journaling. I'm not really sure how to sum up what exactly it is, per say because it's such a flexible system and (as you'll see) you can tweak it to fit your needs. So it's not quite as prescriptive as buying a planner with the pages already designated for you. Essentially, it's meant to be an efficient, short-hand method of staying organized, where you can see large groups of information "at a glance."

Here is the link to the official web page that will be able to describe the original system much more efficiently. However, there were aspects to that I did like, re: the monthly events in a column on oen page. I'm a visual person so what I decided to do was draw out an actual calendar to jot small things in and double as a tracker page. Specific tasks and events are on the other side of the spread with room for notes and additions.
The tracker page idea was something I stumbled upon in a random video but in that version the page was flipped so it ran horizontally, so you would have had to turn the actual journal to view it correctly and I just wasn't feeling that. So instead I designated my tracker symbols to the actual calender I drew out, which you can see below.

monthly two page spread

As you can see, I'm tracking the quality of my sleeping, completing my workouts, water intake, if I'm sticking to eating well and my overall mood for that day. And, yes, you can see I've scheduled in my nuvaring dates in already. Fight me, it's a medical marvel. I don't have any dailies pages yet, since January has't arrived yet but once I do get back into the school year and actually really get into this system I'll do an update post and let you know how I've been finding it and if I've made any changes. The main reason I think I'm going to like this system is it's flexibility and the customization aspect to it.

Like I mentioned earlier, it's not quite the same as the original system but it's fairly similar. Rather than set pages or whatnot I can put everything in the order that works for me and the shorthand, bullet style of the dailies pages works for me, as I'm that person who has a million sticky notes to remember little things. The kind of artsy, personal feel to it was another thing that drew me in; taking my sharpie and Staedtler pens and taking the time to make it aesthetically pleasing is kind of cathartic for me and feels more "me" than buying inserts or pre-planned journal.
 The pictures are a little out of order but below (starting from the left going clockwise) is my first dailies page I've drawn up, then my index and some collection pages I've started. The index is literally just the table of contents for your journal, which is another aspect I really think is going to come in useful. You just designated particular pages for certain things and than label at the front. My moleskine is blank so I number my pages myself but plenty of journals are pre-numbered. The collection pages in the bottom right corner are (for right now healthy recipes I want to try and a to-do list of things I need to pick up when I go back to uni. If I don't end up filling up that pages, I can half it off, draw up something else to put there and simply add it to the index. Like, do you see how efficient this is?!

dailies sample page // index // collection page spread

I don't plan on tracking my dailies pages in the index, that'd be too much, but collection pages, yes indeed. I think this will include things like self care ideas, lovely advice to myself, workout ideas/tracking and pages for planning papers for school. Hopefully this will keep my ass on track in 2015.

That's it for now on the bullet journal front! You darlings have any particular plan to stay on track in the new year?

r.

Reflection on September Goals

photo credits to: tumblr/respective photographer

Hello all! I honestly can't believe October has come around this fast - it always seems to slip my mind how fast the time goes when you're back on a semester-ized schedule. So It's time to reflect on the goals I had set for September!

1. Make time for reading
I failed horribly at this one, not going to lie. The first week I found I had the time but then my workload started getting a little more intensive and on top of trying to balance volunteering and such it slipped as a priority.
And, admittedly I've been conditioning myself to fall asleep to Netflix rather than using that time for reading, I'm ashamed to say. So that will definitely be a goal I carry into October.

2. Get to the gym on the regular 
I was doing pretty darn good with this one (baby biceps are growing folks!) until I got hit down with this absolutely horrendous head/chest cold that I'm only just getting over. I know it's some people's philosophy to push through and go to the gym regardless but I find that just hinders my healing process and I feel like a bag of crap and can't focus on my work or whatnot. But now that I'm on the flip side of better I'm carrying this over into October (ties in neatly with #teamnocheats) and hopefully make some more running and muscle progress.

3. Get organized and stay that way 

Surprisingly I did good on this one. Once I got all my respective syllabuses for all my classes, I transferred over all my relevant dates immediately, invested in a Moleskin and grabbed a daily planner from the student offices on camps and made writing all important dates and "things-to-remember" into those as soon as my professors mentioned it in class. As well I've been excellent at copying over my notes and hole-punching everything and making sure my study space is always clean and I can easily say this has contributed to my peace of mind hugely.

5. Be more aware of my spending 

Yes indeed folks, even after buying textbooks, weekly groceries, study supplies, new shoes, bus passes and such my bank statement still looks good. I posted about my views on alcohol earlier this month and ultimately decided that drinking is something I wanted to give up for a little while and just generally avoiding impulses purchases has kept me (for now) at a good place financially. in my view it's worth it to sacrifice some social events for my peace of mind of finances just in case something happens that requires a big chunk of change.

6. Document more 

I failed miserably at keeping regular diary entries but in terms of photography I've been excellent at capturing my first month back on campus via pictures. As I predicted it's been a good way to make me really look to find beauty in my every day goings on and I really appreciate past Rachel for considering this. Being able to look back at my scenic campus shots, selfies, and shots from my neighborhood makes me grateful for the opportunities and things I do have in my life.

So, that's all folks! I think I did pretty good personally - October Resolutions will be up soon and a weekly reflection! 

Have any goals for your September; how did they go?
r.

an introduction, of sorts

Incessant [in-ses-uh-nt] adjective. "continuing without interruption; ceaseless; unending."

Incandescent [in-kuh n-des-uh nt] adjective. "intensely bright, brilliant. aglow with purpose, ardor."

          I suppose my choice for a blog title and URL was a rather arbitrary one; I simply liked the alliteration, really. "Incandescent" has also just been my favourite word since Pride & Prejudice in 2005. However, I do think it represents me in the fact that it is a two-word, personal manifesto for how I'd like to live my life.
Ceaseless, intense brightness, vigor and purpose for life.  Starting blogging again, among other 'returns' for me, is to make a point of using my 24 hours a day in a meaningful way and to not let my days go to waste. In an homage to the late and great Robin Williams: carpe diem, if you will.

And though I know I already included a handy button with a short blurb on myself and an 'about me' page, I might as well say it one more time. I'm Rachel, a tender 19 years of age, and a current university attendee in Atlantic Canada, with a penchant for boyish collegiate clothes, frowning a lot and pretending I'll actually make it through Anna Karenina before I'm 80.

Here in my first post I wanted to specify more what this blog is going to be about. Lifestyle blog is probably the best way to tag it, as I'm not particularly focused on one thing or the other. Rather, this will be a collection and reflection of the many facets of me. My outfits, musings on one world issue or another, fitness and health, university-related posts, book/film/music reviews and recommendations and a simply a place to catalog my life and find confidence in myself.

If you're the type of person who doesn't mind the occasional existential outburst, enjoys hard cover books and also has an obsession with achieving the perfect eyebrow, I think you'll fit right in. 

xx.

r